When you are doing something nice for someone, do you ever hear “they probably won’t appreciate this anyway” going off in your head? If so, you’re not alone. I had to deal with that many times in my younger years.
I Corinthians 13, the love chapter, tells us that if we martyr ourselves and it isn’t motivated by love – then it profits us nothing. “I’m giving all my time to do this or that and no one will really appreciate it anyway – no one is going to know how hard I worked, how I gave up sleep, how much it cost me to do this nice thing” – these are all wrong motives!
Years ago, I would do things for people just to get them to like or accept me. I tried to buy friendship -what a destructive force that can be! I was so insecure in who I was that I needed constant affirmation from others that I was lovable.
Then I heard a wonderful godly woman, Dale Evans Rogers, speak in our college chapel service about God’s love, His unconditional love, and it got through. Knowing that God loves me – really loves me – is more than enough acceptance to last a lifetime.
I went from doing things for people to get them to like and accept me to doing the same things because I really loved those people. I wanted them to know they were loved and appreciated. A complete turnaround in my motivation.
The prodigal son tried to buy friends and they abandon him when he could no longer foot the bill for their entertainment.
“Not long after that, the younger son packed up everything he owned and left for a foreign country, where he wasted all his money in wild living. 14 He had spent everything, when a bad famine spread through that whole land. Soon he had nothing to eat.” Luke 15:13-14 CEV
Our motivation should be one of expressing love without expecting anything in return.
“I may give away everything I have to help others, and I may even give my body as an offering to be burned. But I gain nothing by doing all this if I don’t have love. 4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud. 5 Love is not rude, it is not selfish, and it cannot be made angry easily. Love does not remember wrongs done against it. 6 Love is never happy when others do wrong, but it is always happy with the truth. 7 Love never gives up on people. It never stops trusting, never loses hope, and never quits. 8 Love will never end.” I Corinthians 13:3-8 CEV
Jesus was always being criticized for His actions of compassion. He ate with tax collectors, engaged fallen women in conversation, showed compassion and healing to the outcasts. His motive was always pure, one of love.
“Whoever wants to be first must serve the rest of you like a slave. 45 Follow my example: Even the Son of Man did not come for people to serve him. He came to serve others and to give his life to save many people.” Mark 10:44-45 ERV
Let’s serve others with a pure heart, no other motivation is required. We have the opportunity to be an example of Jesus’ love.