Category: Relationship

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Do It Again!

For the past several days Dave and I had been blessed to have our youngest daughter, son-in-love, and three small grandchildren visit. Our home has been filled with happy times!

After they left, we talked about all the fun things we did while they were here and are hoping to do it again as soon as possible. We hadn’t had this much time with them in over a year.

The house was filled with laughter and joy! There were a few tears and squabbles but those were minimal. Art projects were created, stories were read, games were played, swings were swung, meals were shared and bedtime prayers were said. (Thank God for bedtime, I needed to recharge.)

A happy home!

Yesterday morning when I was reading my Bible I saw plainly that a “happy home” is God’s plan for us and it’s spelled out for us in several places. One of those is right here in Colossians.

“Wives, be willing to serve your husbands. This is the right thing to do in following the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and be gentle to them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything. This pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, don’t upset your children. If you are too hard to please, they might want to stop trying.” Colossians 3:18-21 ERV

These are basic, simple instructions, instructions that create a happy home!

Wives are to submit to our husbands. It’s the right thing to do. There can only be one head in a home and God has vested that authority to our husbands. They, in turn, are answerable to God for making the right decisions for their familes. We are given the responsibility of being “keepers of the home”. It’s a high calling!

Husbands are instructed to love us and to be gentle with us. They are to be our protectors and providers. That’s a big responsibility. They need our prayers and our support. They are to love and care for us in the same way that Christ does.

Children are instructed to be obedient. If they learn this lesson in the home they will be respectful of the other authority figures in their lives, i.e. teachers, employers, elders, law enforcement, the Lord. This goes back to what I was saying yesterday. We taught our children there was one rule at home, be obedient.

Parents…for me, this is the hard one. There’s a fine line between being too strict or harsh and teaching our children discipline and respect. If we are constantly correcting, it becomes nagging, and it can create a child with low self-esteem. God doesn’t want that for our children, He wants them to realize how deeply loved they are by Him and by us.

“Fathers, do not be so hard on your children that they will give up trying to do what is right.” Colossians 3:21 NLV

I realized I was doing this to our kids when they did their household chores. I was pushing them to my standard of perfection and not realizing that they didn’t see things the same way I did. I needed to praise them for their effort and help them see the things they were deficient with.

Our kids are not just our kids. They are also sons and daughters of God and we should be raising them the way He instructs. Will there be times when correction and discipline are necessary? Absolutely. Will there be occasions of defiance and rebellion? Possibly. It’s up to us as parents to bring our children, individually, to the Lord in prayer and get His insight on their upbringing.

A happy home is built on a foundation of God’s love. His word is infallible, we can trust Him!

We keep doing the right thing because it’s right and then we do it again!

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Do It Right

Growing up there was a saying I heard in our home frequently. “A job worth doing is worth doing well”.

We didn’t take short cuts just to get the job done. I was taught to do things right but if I hurried through and didn’t do it correctly, I would have to do it again. This applied to everything from music scales on the piano, to baking, cleaning my room and homework.

Life lesson learned. Do it right.

But it really was so much more than that. It wasn’t just a philosophy to help me live better; I came to understand that it was the bedrock that I built my life upon.

Do it right!

“God has chosen you and made you his holy people. He loves you. So your new life should be like this: Show mercy to others. Be kind, humble, gentle, and patient. 13 Don’t be angry with each other, but forgive each other. If you feel someone has wronged you, forgive them. Forgive others because the Lord forgave you. 14 Together with these things, the most important part of your new life is to love each other. Love is what holds everything together in perfect unity. 15 Let the peace that Christ gives control your thinking. It is for peace that you were chosen to be together in one body. And always be thankful.

16 Let the teaching of Christ live inside you richly. Use all wisdom to teach and counsel each other. Sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 Everything you say and everything you do should be done for Jesus your Lord. And in all you do, give thanks to God the Father through Jesus.” Colossians 3:12-17 ERV

A few days ago I shared how we should avoid the list of don’ts that the world tries to impose on us. These verses above give us a list of things we can and should be doing which are good and beneficial. I’ve even highlighted a few of them.

God used the Apostle Paul to give this instruction to young Christians. This teaching was the bedrock for their relationship in Christ. It was an amplification of the teaching that Jesus gave to his disciples when he said “by this will all men know that you are my disciples if you love one another”.

The verses above give explanation to how love acts: love is merciful, kind, humble, gentle patient, forgiving and thankful. Love seeks peace, not turmoil.

Do what’s right.

Everytime I read verse seventeen I am reminded of what we told our kids when they were little. “You have one rule, obey what we say”. Paul is saying the same thing here: Everything you say and do should be done for Jesus.

In other words, be obedient. Do it right!

A few years back a whole lot of folks were wearing those rubberized bands on their wrist – WWJD, that thought puts the verses above in a nutshell.

When there are areas where we’ve missed it, God’s love grants us a do over. If that’s where you are today, begin again and do it right.

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Be Focused & Aim High

On a number of occasions Dave and I have gone out to the desert to do some target practice. He is the skilled marksman, I am not. I have heard him say, on several occasions, “Kris, you need to focus and aim higher”.

That’s always good advice!

“You were raised from death with Christ. So live for what is in heaven, where Christ is sitting at the right hand of God. 2 Think only about what is up there, not what is here on earth. 3 Your old self has died, and your new life is kept with Christ in God. 4 Yes, Christ is now your life, and when he comes again, you will share in his glory.” Colossians 3:1-4 ERV

Focus. Aim High.

When we follow Christ we are given a new life. This life is higher than anything we could acheive on our own. We are empowered by the Spirit of God who lives within us. Our goal is not to look down on ourselves or others; it is to look up to the One who is our example.

In yesterday’s blog we looked at some of the man-made rules of religion, those that are always telling us the things we can’t do. But when we look to Christ, when we raise our aim and focus on Him, we gain a greater perspective.

  • Jesus loved the Father and His neighbor.
  • Jesus was forgiving and kind.
  • Jesus helped those who were in need.
  • Jesus elevated the outcasts and downtrodden.
  • Jesus sacrficed His own comfort to minister to others.
  • Jesus always spoke the truth.
  • Jesus always saw the best in others.

Who better to focus on than the One who gave His all for us!

Do I miss the mark? Absolutely!

There are days when my thoughts, and my actions, are self-serving. Sometimes I repent immediately and there are other times I wallow in my selfishness for a while. It’s then I hear that still small voice in my heart telling me “lift your gaze, look up, you’re missing the mark”.

“But now put these things out of your life: anger, losing your temper, doing or saying things to hurt others, and saying shameful things. 9 Don’t lie to each other. You have taken off those old clothes—the person you once were and the bad things you did then. 10 Now you are wearing a new life, a life that is new every day. You are growing in your understanding of the one who made you. You are becoming more and more like him. 11 In this new life it doesn’t matter if you are a Greek or a Jew, circumcised or not. It doesn’t matter if you speak a different language or even if you are a Scythian. It doesn’t matter if you are a slave or free. Christ is all that matters, and he is in all of you.” Colossians 3:8-11 ERV

Focus. Aim High.

We’ve been given a new life; every day we should become more like Him. Christ is all that matters and He lives in us!

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Too Many Don’ts

When I grew up there were a lot of don’ts. Don’t do this and don’t do that. Some were for my own protection, i.e. don’t touch the stove, it’s hot, while other’s were rules set up by religion, i.e. we don’t go to dances or movies.

There was a whole list of them and they outnumbered the things that we could do. The emphasis was more on the negative aspects than it was on the positive.

The college I went too was very strict. As in-coming students we had a list of things we could and couldn’t do.

But this list of what was acceptable and unacceptable behavior wasn’t just limited to the religious world in the United States. I was shocked to learn that at one time in the Middle European countries it was considered shameful for Christians to drink coffee but perfectly acceptable for them to drink beer and wine.

No wonderful so many people think if you claim to be a Christian you can’t have any fun!

There are God-given instructions for our well being and then there are those that men have added on because of religious piety. The Bible has something to say about these add-ons.

“Don’t let anyone tell you what you must eat or drink. Don’t let them say that you must celebrate the New Moon festival, the Sabbath, or any other festival. 17 These things are only a shadow of what was to come. But Christ is real…20 You died with Christ. Now the forces of the universe don’t have any power over you. Why do you live as if you had to obey such rules as, 21 “Don’t handle this. Don’t taste that. Don’t touch this.”? 22 After these things are used, they are no longer good for anything. So why be bothered with the rules that humans have made up? 23 Obeying these rules may seem to be the smart thing to do. They appear to make you love God more and to be very humble and to have control over your body. But they don’t really have any power over our desires.” Colossians 2:16-23 CEV

The list of man-made don’ts cause us to focus on ourselves. We develop a type of tunnel vision. “I can’t do this, I can’t do that, I can go here or there”. We become Rule-Centered instead of being Christ-Centered. As the verses above point out, we should be looking at Christ and the reality He brings to our lives.

It was life-changing when I realized there was a different list for my life in the Bible – it is a list of “do’s”. We’ll cover some of those tomorrow. It’s time to evaluate our actions or, in some cases, lack of action to man-made rules.

Our relationship with the Lord sets us free to do good works. Let’s get started!

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Don’t Be Fooled!

Have you ever had someone mislead you? Perhaps their actions were an intentional misrepresentation to get a desired end that would benefit them, perhaps not. It’s never a good feeling when you realize you have been duped.

Thoughts of “would’ve, could’ve, should’ve” have plagued me. The “what-if’s” and “if only’s” have played out in my thinking more times than I would like to admit.

Why am I telling you this? It’s something the Apostle Paul told the young Christians in Colossae and I wish I had known this teaching all those years ago.

“Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from Christ. 9 For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body. 10 So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority.” Colossians 2:8-10 NLT

Don’t let anyone capture you with philosophies and nonsense that comes from human thinking.

This is sound advice for all of us. I know that Paul was talking about our Christian faith and teachings involving our walk with Christ. But I also believe that it pertains to our everyday lives. There are all sorts of opinions and beliefs that go contrary to the Word of God and we need to be on guard so we aren’t deceived or drawn astray.

Paul repeats a major truth that we all need to completely saturated with, we are complete in Christ!

Just as Christ was complete because of His relationship with the Father, we are complete because of our relationship with the Son. We have the Holy Spirit dwelling in us to lead and guide us. It is imperative that we listen to that still, small, inner voice for direction and peace.

“But when the Spirit of truth comes, he will lead you into all truth. He will not speak his own words. He will speak only what he hears and will tell you what will happen in the future.” John 16:13 ERV

“Let the peace that Christ gives control your thinking. It is for peace that you were chosen to be together in one body. And always be thankful. 16 Let the teaching of Christ live inside you richly. Use all wisdom to teach and counsel each other. Sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” Colossians 3:15-16 ERV

The best way I know to keep from being fooled into wrong thinking and wrong actions is to let the peace of God rule in our hearts! Let it become the final authority. It will either give us a red light or a green light for the things before us.

Have I been perfect in this? Heaven’s no! But I’m a much better listener now to God’s prompting of peace than I have been in the past.

Good advice for daily life is “Don’t be fooled”!

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I Know A Secret

Have you ever been asked to keep a secret?

When our oldest was about three she was helping me wrap some birthday presents for Dave. I told her it was a secret and she couldn’t tell “Daddy” what we had gotten him. Then we took the presents and put them in the hall closet for safe keeping.

Dave came home from work that evening and as he approached the little closet Kim threw herself against the door and frantically said “No Daddy, you can’t look in the door. It’s a secret!”

Dave and I both had a good laugh and needless to say, he opened his presents that night at dinner instead of the next day.

Some secrets are just too good to keep!

For years prophets had told of a coming Messiah, a Savior, but people ignored the message. Then Jesus arrived and he preached the message of restoration and forgiveness for all. He wanted everyone to know that the Father was lovingly reaching out to the world. They heard His message but they were angered by it and they crucified Him.

“We speak of God’s hidden and mysterious wisdom that God decided to use for our glory long before the world began. 8 The rulers of this world didn’t know anything about this wisdom. If they had known about it, they would not have nailed the glorious Lord to a cross…10 God’s Spirit has shown you everything. His Spirit finds out everything, even what is deep in the mind of God.” I Corinthians 2:7- 10 CEV

After Jesus’ death and resurrection the secret was out!

Everywhere people were believing this message that Christ died to bring, “God loves and forgives sinners. He has a plan for them to have a new and abundant life”. This was the message that Paul was bringing to the Colossians and to us.

“God’s plan was to make me a servant of his church and to send me to preach his complete message to you. 26 For ages and ages this message was kept secret from everyone, but now it has been explained to God’s people. 27 God did this because he wanted you Gentiles to understand his wonderful and glorious mystery. And the mystery is that Christ lives in you, and he is your hope of sharing in God’s glory.

28 We announce the message about Christ, and we use all our wisdom to warn and teach everyone, so that all of Christ’s followers will grow and become mature. 29 That’s why I work so hard and use the mighty power he gives me.” Colossians 1:25-29 CEV

The mystery, the secret, is this: “Christ lives in you, and he is your hope of sharing in God’s glory”.

Christ lives in me, in us! What a secret – it has to be shared.

What could the day present that Jesus couldn’t conquer? What problem could we have that Christ couldn’t solve?

Paul had been stoned, beaten, imprisoned and ostracized for preaching this message but that didn’t stop him because he knew that Christ lived in him and was strengthening him in every situation.

The secret’s out – we have been made right with God and He has given us abundant life!

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Run the Race

This morning I am dedicating this blog to my children. They are amazing people.

A few months ago our son-in-law ran his first marathon. It had been cancelled but he traveled to the race site with our daughter and grandson and ran the course anyway. He had trained for it and he ran his race.

This encouraged our youngest daughter who, today, will run her first half marathon. She has been training for months and her race was also cancelled but today she will be running through the streets of her neighborhood to accomplish her goal.

Our children have overcome physical injury and disease and they continue to press on to achieve the goals and dreams in their heart. Their roads haven’t been easy but that’s what makes the accomplishment so rewarding.

“You know that in a race all the runners run, but only one runner gets the prize. So run like that. Run to win! 25 All who compete in the games use strict training. They do this so that they can win a prize—one that doesn’t last. But our prize is one that will last forever.” I Corinthians 9:24-25 ERV

Each of us has been given a race to run, that race is life! Our courses differ. God has given each of us a purpose. Our race is to bring Him honor and glory and He will run every step of it with us, if we ask Him too.

Remember yesterday’s verse – “I will not, I will not, I will not leave you alone or abandon you”. That’s the Father’s promise to us. We are not in this race of life alone. He is with us to protect and strengthen us. We also have a cheering section to encourage us along the journey.

“All these many people who have had faith in God are around us like a cloud. Let us put every thing out of our lives that keeps us from doing what we should. Let us keep running in the race that God has planned for us.” Hebrews 12:1 NLV

When we commit our lives to the Lord, when we receive God’s gift of eternal life, we are given a plan personalized for our strengths and talents. Jesus know the hardships we will face in life and He is here to help us all along the way.

“So Jesus had to become like His brothers in every way. He had to be one of us to be our Religious Leader to go between God and us. He had loving-pity on us and He was faithful. He gave Himself as a gift to die on a cross for our sins so that God would not hold these sins against us any longer. 18 Because Jesus was tempted as we are and suffered as we do, He understands us and He is able to help us when we are tempted.” Hebrews 2:17-18 NLV

Whatever we face in our race of life we aren’t alone. Run with confidence. Jesus is running with us. We will finish the race and receive the prize of life eternal with our Father.

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My Best Friend

Yesterday while I was out working in my yard I was letting my thoughts run. They took me to memories of friends, new and old. I was reminded of confidences we have shared, places we have gone, encouragement and counsel given and tears that have been shed, joyful and those of heart ache. Happy memories. I miss those times but the memories sustain me until I see each of them again.

But there was a time when I felt friendless and alone. In my lowest time when I felt that no cared, Jesus was there for me and He proved Himself to be the quintessential friend. He filled my heart with His love and my loneliness evaporated!

It was during that time I began to see all the individuals throughout the Bible who had a relationship with the Lord. None of them were perfect but the Lord was faithful to them even in their failures. It was the Lord who initiated the relationships.

The Lord came to Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses, Joshua, Samuel, David…I think you get the point. He never abandon them and I saw how He has never abandon me. King Solomon wrote “A friend loves at ALL (my emphasis) times” – those words remind me of God’s faithfulness.

Jesus said this: “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command.” John 15:13-14 NLT

That’s exactly what He did – He gave His life for you and me. There is no greater expression of love!

I have one other verse I’d like to share with you. Fifty years ago this verse filled my heart with hope and confidence. All these years later I can honestly say that I have never felt friendless again.

“…for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]” Hebrews 13:5b

I hope those words “I will not” impact you the way they did me. God does not lie and He does not change His character. Those words were written nearly 2000 years ago but they are still true today. God’s faithfulness to those He loves will remain forever.

When I was a young girl I remember singing a song about the relationship we can have with Jesus. However, it wasn’t until some time later that the meaning of the words rang true in my own life. “No One Ever Cared for Me” was written in 1932 by an evangelist, Charles Weigel. The words here are only the first verse and chorus, there are two additional verses which I didn’t include here:

I would love to tell you what I think of Jesus,
Since I found in Him a friend so strong and true;
I would tell you how He changed my life completely,
He did something that no other friend could do.

No one ever cared for me like Jesus,
There’s no other friend so kind as He;
No one else could take the sin and darkness from me,
O how much He cared for me.

My greatest joy is to tell you about my best friend, Jesus. There’s no one like Him. I hope you know Him as your friend too.

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Looking In

It’s so easy for those who don’t know us very well to “look in” on our lives and make judgements.

Have you ever had that happen to you?

It’s hard to deal with but we can dismiss those actions with “they just don’t know me well enough”. However, it’s much harder when someone we love and are close too spreads lies or judges us harshly.

That can cause relationships to crumble and/or jealousy to grow. I know. Personally, I have been judged harshly on a couple occasions and regretfully, I have also been guilty of doing the same.

I’d like to tell you about a lady who had her reputation besmirched publically. She was called out because of her past. Her accuser tried to humiliate her in the presence of his friends and business associates. She had no where to retreat from his cruel words.

“Then one of the Pharisees asked Him to eat with him. And He went to the Pharisee’s house, and sat down to eat. 37 And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, 38 and stood at His feet behind Him weeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil. 39 Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he spoke to himself, saying, “This Man, if He were a prophet, would know who and what manner of woman this is who is touching Him, for she is a sinner.”…

 44 Then He turned to the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has washed My feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head. 45 You gave Me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss My feet since the time I came in. 46 You did not anoint My head with oil, but this woman has anointed My feet with fragrant oil. 47 Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.”

48 Then He said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” 49 And those who sat at the table with Him began to say to themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?” 50 Then He said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.” Luke 7:36-50 NKJV

Jesus’ words “judge not unless you want to be judged” ring in my heart when I read this story. No one is insignificant to the Father. He sent His Son to die for everyone of us. Others may judge us, whether correctly or incorrectly, but Jesus only judges sin and all sin is the same to Him. And then He offers us peace and forgiveness.

The Bible tells us that man looks at what we do on the outside but God looks at our hearts. When people make hurtful accusations, look inside to see what God sees. Others may see failure, a screw-up, but God sees us as His sons and daughters, forgiven and wrapped in His love.

“God’s Spirit doesn’t make us slaves who are afraid of him. Instead, we become his children and call him our Father.” Romans 8:15 CEV

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I’m Listening!

This morning I read a quote by Colin Powell and I’d like to share it with you.

“All children need a laptop. Not a computer, but a human laptop. Moms, Dads, Grannies and Grandpas, Aunts, Uncles – someone to hold them, read to them, teach them. Loved ones who will embrace them and pass on the experience, rituals and knowledge of a hundred previous generations. Loved ones who will pass to the next generation their expectations of them, their hopes, and their dreams.“

The truth of this statement rang true in my heart. I realized that it isn’t just small children who need a laptop but we grown-ups need one as well…and we have One!

We have a Father whose lap is available 24/7. He’s never too busy to spend time with us, to listen to us or to share His love with us.

“For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans for well-being and not for trouble, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will look for Me and find Me, when you look for Me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13 NLV

It’s imperative to be a good listener if we desire to have strong relationships. Children need to know that their parents are listening; spouses must listen to each other; co-workers must listen to be an effective cohesive team and friendships are shallow without a commitment to listening.

Listening is caring! It says “You are important to me. I will give you the one commodity I can’t replace, my time.”

I haven’t always been a good listener – a good talker, yes, but not always a good listener. With age, I have improved. Now, when I know someone is wanting to talk and be heard, I will often say “Give me just a minute to finish this and then you will have my undivided attention”. I try to listen more and interrupt less. Relationships improve when we listen. The one talking feels valued.

“Then those who feared the Lord talked often one to another; and the Lord listened and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before Him of those who reverenced and worshipfully feared the Lord and who thought on His name. 17 And they shall be Mine, says the Lord of hosts, in that day when I publicly recognize and openly declare them to be My jewels (My special possession, My peculiar treasure). And I will spare them, as a man spares his own son who serves him.” Malachi 3:16-17 AMPC

The Lord listens when we talk to Him and about Him; He says He sees us as a treasure, as valuable as jewels.

Not only does the Lord listen but He responds. He’ll provide us with answers. He gives us instruction, wise counsel, course correction and help. He tells us His hopes and dreams for our future.

“Call to Me, and I will answer you. And I will show you great and wonderful things which you do not know.” Jeremiah 33:3 NLV

Listening is a two-way street. We are listened to and then we listen for is said to us.

The Lord hears our praise and our prayers. We need to listen as He tells us the great and wonderful things that He has planned for us.

Lord, I’m listening!

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