Author: Kristi Wilson

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Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Abortion, Infertility

I will warn you. Today’s blog will be a bit heavier than most of my posts. Yesterday I was out pruning the plants in my yard. It has been a winter of heavy frosts and there was much to do. As I was pruning my geraniums I was overwhelmed. It was like someone had dropped a heavy blanket on me. I knew this was something I had to share.

In 1979, I had my first miscarriage and in 1983 I had my second. After that we decided not to try again. Our family would be complete with our son and our daughter. Our hearts were broken and we didn’t want to experience that kind of sorrow again.

We had two wonderful children. Healthy kids! A girl and a boy but we also experienced the lost of loosing two babies.

As I was pruning back the geraniums all this came flooding back. Cutting away the dead to make room for the new. At that moment I realize there are millions of families who are experiencing or have experienced the same loss.

We had some dear friends who came to visit shortly after my second miscarriage and shared God’s promise with us.

““So you shall serve the Lord your God, and He will bless your bread and your water. And I will take sickness away from the midst of you. 26 No one shall suffer miscarriage or be barren in your land; I will fulfill the number of your days.” Exodus 23:25-26 NKJV

They prayed with us that our next child, should we choose to try, would be covered with the Lord’s protection from the moment of conception. Since then we have shared that truth, the truth of God’s word, with a large number of women who thought they were barren and with those who had lost children to miscarriage, still birth and abortion.

They prayed with us that any child we would conceive in the future would be covered with the Lord’s protection from the moment of conception. Both babies we lost were lost in the first few months after conception and we didn’t even know to pray over them. Two years after this prayer we conceived our youngest daughter, Kaci. I held my breath and prayed. We waited several months before we announced her arrival to the world. These dear friends who prayed with us were there to officiate our youngest daughter’s marriage 30 years later! And now she is the mother of three beautiful children.

A number of years later my last miscarriage, about seven years, I was blessed to share with a class on childhood development at the local high school about the heartbreak of miscarriage. I was able to tell them that this was not a fetus, a blob of tissue, but a living being who became a part of our family and was gone.

I had never allowed myself to grieve. I didn’t know I should. I was the church administrator and one day I was covering the bookstore during lunch. It was slow and I grab a book from the shelves and began to read. As I read, I began to weep uncontrollably. My broken heart was allowed to speak. And healing began.

The book was “I’ll Hold You in Heaven” by Jack Hayford. He’s a wonderful Bible teacher. The entire book deals with miscarriage, still birth and abortion. It was my cry for healing and I didn’t even know I needed to be healed.

What I realized yesterday afternoon in my backyard is there are many women and their husbands who need to hear this message of healing. The pain and heartbreak have been pushed aside. There are those who are barren that feel there is no hope and those who have lost their babies before they could hold them who ache with grief. We all need to experience the Lord’s healing, comfort and hope.

If you know someone who is dealing with the anguish of barrenness, share with them the truth of God’s word. They may be a Sarah who has waited many years but they have God’s promise. He doesn’t lie!

Others may have lost a child, or two, as I did and didn’t know God’s word to cover that child with protection. The same holds true for those who have experienced a still birth. God is not a killer – He comes to bring life and not death. For those who have gone through abortion there is hope. Hope of a future.

Be kind, be compassionate, be truthful and share God’s word and His promise with those who are in sorrow.

“The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).” John 10:10 AMPC

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Clear Direction

I was visiting with a dear friend yesterday and we were talking about how important it is that we hear clearly. If we don’t have good, concise communication we can be misled and taken off course.

The words “but I thought you said” can be disastrous. Years ago I had two friends who were visiting a large city for the first time. This is in the days before GPS. They were looking for a sports arena where a hockey game was going to be played. After stopping at a store and getting directions from the clerk, they got back in their car and headed out the way they had been told, or at least that’s what they thought. “I thought he said turn right” and so they did.

Very shortly they were in the wrong part of town and they were frightened by their surroundings. It was not good! They were able to get out of that situation with a few more turns that took them back to the main road and they arrived late, but unharmed, at their destination.

When we decide to follow the Lord he will give us the direction we need.

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, you will hear a voice saying, “This is the road! Now follow it.” Isaiah 30:21 CEV

King David wrote in Psalms 23, that even if our path takes us through the valley of the shadow of death, we can live free from fear because we know that the Lord is with us. The important word here is “through”. God does not take us down a road and abandon us. He leads us through, which means we come out on the other side.

“Roll your works upon the Lord [commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and] so shall your plans be established and succeed.” Proverbs 16:3 AMP

The verse above is one of my “go to” verses. It is like true North on a compass. I know that when I follow the instructions in this verse I will receive clear direction. Remember yesterday’s devotional on trust? We can trust the Lord with every area of our life; He only wants what’s best for us. He isn’t out to harm us or to punish us, He is a loving Father who wants to add what’s beneficial and remove what’s harmful.

“We praise you, Lord God! You treat us with kindness day after day, and you rescue us.
20 You always protect us and save us from death.” Psalm 68:19-20 CEV

“Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name.
2 Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me.
3 He forgives all my sins  and heals all my diseases.” Psalm 103:1-3 NLT

Listen for the Father’s voice; follow His leading and He will cause us to succeed.

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Powerful Agreement

Have you ever noticed how much easier it is to get things done when you have someone agree with you? It just seems to get done faster and more efficiently when there’s agreement of at least a couple of people. Agreement is built on trust.

When I can trust that you will do what you say you will and you can trust me, we have agreement. Each of us are commitment to seeing things through and contributing all we can to the success of the project. Never enter into a contract with someone you don’t trust. Work relationships, friendships, marriages and our relationship with the Lord are all built on trust.

“I promise you that God in heaven will allow whatever you allow on earth, but he will not allow anything you don’t allow. 19 I promise that when any two of you on earth agree about something you are praying for, my Father in heaven will do it for you. 20 Whenever two or three of you come together in my name, I am there with you.” Matthew 18:18-20 CEV

The ability to work in agreement can be world changing. Being in agreement with the Lord and what He says in His word is powerful.

Many times throughout the Old Testament multiple kings would join together to attack and defeat the nation of Israel. They would make an alliance. Power in agreement. However, there was a stronger alliance that had formed.

“The kings and their armies went to Merom Pond, where they set up camp, and got ready to fight Israel. It seemed as though there were more soldiers and horses and chariots than there are grains of sand on a beach. 6 The Lord told Joshua: Don’t let them frighten you! I’ll help you defeat them, and by this time tomorrow they will be dead.” Joshua 11:5-6 CEV

Joshua also had an alliance, his was with the Lord of hosts. Now Joshua wasn’t limited to mere human strength and ability, he was in agreement with God which gave him and his army a supernatural superiority. He trusted God.

“Joshua captured all the towns where the enemy kings had ruled. That’s what the Lord had told his servant Moses to do, that’s what Moses had told Joshua to do, and that’s exactly what Joshua did…23 That’s how Joshua captured the land, just as the Lord had commanded Moses, and Joshua divided it up among the tribes. Finally, there was peace in the land.” Joshua 11:12, 15, 23 CEV

Joshua put himself in agreement with what God had said and because of it he was victorious! He knew God would never lie.

I’m here to tell you God’s word always means what it says. Joshua didn’t stop to see if all the army were in agreement with the way he set the battle plan; he just made sure he was in agreement with God. Many times Jesus went off by himself to pray and after those pray sessions he would work great miracles; he and the Father were in agreement. The early Christians joined themselves in prayer multiple times and saw Peter released from prison, Paul rescued from harm, the sick were healed and lives were changed.

It’s time we realize that the enemy may appear to be greater than the sands on the seashore but when we are in agreement with God and His word, we become an unstoppable force! Miracles will happen, prayers will be answered!

“We can come to God with no doubts. This means that when we ask God for things (and those things agree with what God wants for us), God cares about what we say. 15 He listens to us every time we ask him. So we know that he gives us whatever we ask from him.” I John 5:14-15 ERV

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Life Lived Well

We all desire to have a good life but what does that mean? To some it brings images of wealth and nice things while others see health, physical well being and strength. Still others will envision a happy family and peaceful contentment.

What is the good life to you?

Each time I listen to my mother talk about her upbringing I know that she has experienced the “good life”. Her family wasn’t wealthy but they were rich in love. Her home was modest in furnishings but lavishly decorated with peace, kindness and caring. I can only hope that my children and grandchildren will speak of me with the same love and affection that my mother expresses for her parents and grandparents.

The book of Proverbs gives us many insightful verses on life. Verses on a life well lived and instruction on what is truly important.

“Any bragger you correct will only hate you. But if you correct someone who has common sense, you will be loved. 9 If you have good sense, instruction will help you to have even better sense. And if you live right, education will help you to know even more. 10 Respect and obey the Lord! This is the beginning of wisdom. To have understanding, you must know the Holy God. 11 I am Wisdom. If you follow me, you will live a long time. 12 Good sense is good for you, but if you brag, you hurt yourself.” Proverbs 9:8-12 CEV

If we follow wisdom we are promised a long life. A good life. Jesus said he came to give us an abundant life.

“I am Wisdom—Common Sense is my closest friend;  I possess knowledge  and sound judgment. 13 If you respect the Lord, you will hate evil. I hate pride and conceit and deceitful lies…What you receive from me is more valuable than even the finest gold or the purest silver. 20 I always do what is right, 21 and I give great riches to everyone who loves me…Pay attention, my children! Follow my advice, and you will be happy. 33 Listen carefully to my instructions,  and you will be wise. Come to my home each day and listen to me. You will find happiness.” Proverbs 8:12-13, 19-21, 32-34 CEV

There is much to learn by listening to and applying God’s word. Wisdom will be our constant companion and we will have joy. That truly is a life well lived!

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Honoring Our Mother & Father

We’ve had the pleasure of having my mother with us for the last ten days. She is ninety-six and lives about four hours away. It’s been so good to have her here. During her stay we were visited by our youngest daughter and her family on one weekend and this last weekend our son came to see Gram. Our oldest daughter wasn’t able to make it, she was out-of-state welcoming her first granddaughter into the world.

Mom was so blessed to be surrounded by her grandchildren and great grandchildren. She had a big smile on her face most of the time. (She got weary at times and took a nap, I did too.) Mom held the littlest one in her arms, watched the two and four year old play, told stories to the adult grandchildren of their childhoods and relived the milestones of her life with them. It was amazing!

It was truly a wonderful expression of one of God’s commands.

“You must honor your father and your mother. The Lord your God has commanded you to do this. If you follow this command, you will live a long time, and everything will go well for you in the land that the Lord your God gives you.” Deuteronomy 5:16 ERV

Mom will be with us one more day and I will miss not having her here. She lives with my sister and her family; they take very good care of her. I will miss tucking her in at night and praying with her. Very few adults my age are blessed to still have living parents.

But we all have a loving heavenly Father. He is our Father who lives forever and who is as close to us as our next breath. He desires to tell us stories of His past. In fact, He wrote them down and put them in a wonderful book for us to read, the Bible. He wants to tell us all about His plans for our life, the good things He has in store.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen.” Jeremiah 29:11-12 NLT

There are several words in the Bible that can be interchanged for the word honor; praise and bless are just two of them. We honor the Lord when we obey Him; when we magnify or exalt His word above all others we honor Him.

“I will honor the Lord at all times. His praise will always be in my mouth. 2 My soul will be proud to tell about the Lord. Let those who suffer hear it and be filled with joy. 3 Give great honor to the Lord with me. Let us praise His name together.” Psalm 34:1-3 NLV

As long as our parents are living we should give them honor and as long as we are living we should give our Father honor and praise. It’s just the right thing to do.

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Living In A Palace

Every so often I find myself looking around at our home and I am overwhelmed by the Lord’s blessing. We were able to purchase it five and a half years ago without a mortgage. It was the answer to a prayer from many years before.

Yesterday Dave told me he had found a critter in our bathroom. Since we live in southern Arizona it could have been any one of a number of things. It was a lizard. I chuckled to myself and thought “I live in a palace” and I have Scripture to prove it.

“Lizards—they are easy to catch, but they are found even in kings’ palaces.” Proverbs 30:28 NLT

According to most of the world’s standards my home is a palace. There are so many living in horrible conditions. The walls of their homes lean and collapse in the wind. Floors are dirt and roofs leak. There is no electricity or modern plumbing. We have much to be thankful for.

Someone will always live in a better neighborhood and have a larger home with nicer furniture. We have to avoid the temptation to compare and covet. Those two attributes breed discontentment and when discontentment is left unchecked it can be very destructive. We need to be grateful for the blessings we have.

“A wise woman makes her home what it should be, but the home of a foolish woman is destroyed by her own actions.” Proverbs 14:1 ERV

A house, an apartment or mobile home is only a structure – brick, metal, wood or stucco; it is the love of the family within that makes it a home.

Yes, my home is a palace, lizard and all.

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Natural Beauty

Yesterday I had a bit little of time so I went out and did some pruning. A few weeks back we had a cold snap and some of my flowers and plants were frost bitten. They needed my attention.

I took my pruning shears and nipped off the ends that were damaged, loosened the soil and applied a little TLC. As I was getting ready to come in I saw that the hyacinths were beginning to bloom. I love the smell of hyacinths and their rich color makes me smile.

As I sat here with my computer in my lap I was reminded of the beauty that the Lord has placed in my life. Family, friends and even strangers add a touch of color and beauty to my days. Some are likes roses that need regular attention and others are like wild flowers that grow vicariously when their seeds are transported by the wind. But their blossoms bring color and a fragrance that I am grateful for.

“Rain and snow fall from the sky and don’t return until they have watered the ground.
Then the ground causes the plants to sprout and grow, and they produce seeds for the farmer and food for people to eat. 11 In the same way, my words leave my mouth, and they don’t come back without results. My words make the things happen that I want to happen. They succeed in doing what I send them to do…All this will happen to make the Lord known, to be a permanent reminder of his goodness and power.” Isaiah 55:10-13 ERV

God has made my life a well-watered garden. Seeds of family and friendship have been planted, taken root and grown strong. He has added those who are temporary and have a seasonal purpose. They are all reminders of God’s goodness and His power.

God’s word is like a seed and when its planted causes strength, wisdom, faith, joy, love and kindness to grow in my heart. The word of God not only nourishes my soul but it also brings beauty to my life.

I never want to become immune to the goodness of God. I never want to take it for granted. “Lord, let me always see your goodness and power in the beauty of nature and let me see Your marvelous plan in the lives of those you bring to fill my life”.

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Oceans of Love

Not everyone enjoys celebrating Valentine’s Day. We need to try and make the day a little easier, a little brighter for them.

Some have been betrayed by someone who said they loved them. That kind of betrayal brings a deep kind of hurt. Some have been hurt too many times in life and have no desire to go on. While others have lost the love of their life to death.

I’m sorry, truly sorry, for those who have experienced this kind of pain.

Jesus knows that kind of hurt too. He experienced the worst from those He loved and His heart broke when He lost someone he loved to death. He was betrayed, despised, rejected and abandoned. He experienced these things while in His earthly body so He could be a comfort to us.

“He heals those who have a broken heart. He heals their sorrows. ” Psalm 147:3 NLT

He promises to never leave us, never forsake us! He has promised to heal the broken hearted! If you’re having a hard time with Valentine’s Day, go to Him. Give Jesus your heart and let Him bring healing and wholeness. Then celebrate the day with your forever Valentine.

“The Spirit of the Lord God has taken control of me! The Lord has chosen and sent me to tell the oppressed the good news, to heal the brokenhearted, and to announce freedom for prisoners and captives. 2 This is the year when the Lord God will show kindness to us and punish our enemies. The Lord has sent me to comfort those who mourn” Isaiah 61:1-2 CEV

Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. God’s love is big enough for all of us. It is a deep and wide as the oceans and it will never run dry.

“I pray that Christ will live in your hearts because of your faith. I pray that your life will be strong in love and be built on love. 18 And I pray that you and all God’s holy people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ’s love—how wide, how long, how high, and how deep that love is. 19 Christ’s love is greater than anyone can ever know, but I pray that you will be able to know that love. Then you can be filled with everything God has for you.” Ephesians 3:17-19 ERV

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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Finding Love in Silence

A cool morning, a warm cup of coffee, a cozy blanket and quiet! Truly an enjoyable way to start the day!

Alone with just the thoughts of my heart and there is peace! I didn’t always enjoy being alone with just my thoughts. My heart would become anxious; I would turn on the tv or the radio – anything to block out the silence, anything not to focus on the unrest and the distress I felt churning inside.

Maybe you’re like that. You don’t want to get up and be “alone” with your thoughts or with the Father. You want to get up and get going right away to keep yourself from pausing in the quiet of the morning.

King David wrote in the Psalms to “be still and KNOW that I AM God”. To know means to be intimately acquainted with, a deep personal knowledge or understanding.

“God is our protection and source of strength. He is always ready to help us in times of trouble. 2 So we are not afraid when the earth quakes and the mountains fall into the sea. 3 We are not afraid when the seas become rough and dark and the mountains tremble. Selah…10 God says, “Stop fighting (be still) and know that I am God! I am the one who defeats the nations; I am the one who controls the world.” 11 The Lord All-Powerful is with us. The God of Jacob is our place of safety. Selah” Psalm 46 ERV

This verse says to stop fighting where another translation of the same verse says be still. The psalm ends with the word Selah, which means to pause, reflect, take time to let what you just heard sink in.

I used to hate being alone with my thoughts. They told me I was unworthy, I was alone, I wouldn’t amount to anything. My thoughts pointed out all my failures and my shortcomings. I never measured up so why did I want a quiet time to reflect on all that was wrong with me?

However, when I began reading God’s word and taking time to sit silently and let it sink in, I found God’s love and peace.

“With Jesus as our high priest, we can feel free to come before God’s throne where there is grace. There we receive mercy and kindness to help us when we need it.” Hebrews 4:16 ERV

When I come to His throne, in the quiet of the morning, I find grace, mercy, kindness and help. I find Jesus! I’ve had folks ask me why I get up so early – it’s not a chore, I’ve been doing it for years. It’s my place of peace and strength. I can’t imagine starting a day without this time.

In the silence I know that God is with me and He surrounds me with His love!

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Love Gives

Why do we do the things we do?

Why do we do things like dishes and cleaning, baking and bathing, nursing and washing, listening and comforting, going to work and then to after-school activities? Do we do these things because we have too? No.

Love gives!

“If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.” I Corinthians 13:3-7 MSG

Our actions can’t earn us love. If they could, then our lack of action would be reason for us to lose that love. Love isn’t based on our effort or the effort of those around us. True love is unconditional. Our actions are simply an expression of that love.

Love has no room for self pity or a poor me attitude. In all honesty, I have to admit that I have my times of whining and feeling put upon. But then, God’s word will correct me and I get on with loving my family and those around me.

Jesus said this to His disciples: “Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. ” John 13:34 MSG

The love that Jesus has for us is unearned and unconditional. He showed his love for us before we were even born. He gave all He had for us. He gave up His life in heaven to come to earth; He gave up a good reputation and took on ridicule. Finally, He gave up His life to save us from death. Jesus gave all!

Let’s follow His example and His command. Let’s love the way we’ve been loved.

Love gives!

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